The Concealed History of Free People of Color in America

The early history of people of color in the United Stated has focused almost exclusively on their enslavement, which has incompletely presented and positioned the identities of, ideologies about, and policies toward blacks in this country up through the modern age. In actuality, there were approximately a quarter of a million free African Americans living in the Antebellum South. In Slaves Without Masters: The Free Negro in the Antebellum South, author Ira Berlin extensively documents the oft-untold (and frequently concealed) experiences of free people of color between the Revolutionary and Civil wars.

After the U.S. War of Independence, there was an initial wave of slave emancipation that freed thousands of African Americans in the South. Slaves Without Masters casts its focus on this diverse population of free blacks during the antebellum era. Their lives varied drastically based on geography (border states vs. upper South vs lower South, rural vs. urban); the constantly changing laws and racial codes of the day; the perceived value of their occupational skill set and level of education; their alliances––or lack of positive relationships––with other FPOC and with other whites; and, markedly, the specific hue of their skin.

Despite the uncertainty and instability of life leading up to and through the Civil War, some emancipated people of color were able to acquire formal education, start their own businesses, buy homes, own landed properties and form influential community organizations. Others, however, lived in shanty dwellings or were forced to roam from town to town and state to state as white Southerners debated what should be done to control the expanding presence and power of free blacks in their communities. Many–if not most–free people of color were continually in fear of falling afoul of constantly changing ‘black codes’, and they were regularly threatened with unwarranted imprisonment, unexpected violence, and serious threats of expatriation or enslavement.

Berlin paints a vivid portrait of the historical events and socio-political influences that birthed and embedded racism so thoroughly into the American psyche and the country’s institutions. He levels a scathing indictment against the amoral use of the legal system for socio-economic gain to ensure the stability of power for the elite white slaveholders. Yet what is perhaps most illuminating and impactful about this historical narrative is that provides a nuanced analysis of the varied cultural perspectives, social ideologies and political and economic agendas that shaped and shifted the lives of free people of color during this vacillating and volatile period leading up to the Civil War.

Slaves Without Masters explores the devastating legacy of slavery and the bittersweet promise of freedom and opportunity in the face of a perilous future when one’s status was continually redefined and threatened. In doing so, one gains a deeper understanding of how the U.S. caste system developed and how it was reinforced over time to justify the continued existence of slavery while other African Americans lived in comparative freedom.

As a descendant of both enslaved African Americans and free people of color, reading this book has been monumentally revelatory in developing an understanding of the contrasting experiences and perspectives of my ancestors. American history and family history paralleled, intersected, intertwined and illuminated each other. Vital historical context, previously unrevealed, more fully brought to life my genealogical research and personal exploration of family history, giving me a deeper appreciation of who my ancestors were. I also have a greater and more complete perspective on their legacies that I carry in me today; a greater sense of the responsibility I have to share their previously untold stories.

Calling My Name Relays The Sensuous Journey To Self-Love And Empowered Spirituality

Calling My Name by Liara Tamani is a lyrical and sensuous story–at times, reading more like poetry than prose. A richly detailed narrative immerses you immediately in the life experiences of Taja Brown: from neighborhood kickball games and sibling rivalry to tumultuous first love and the promise of life to come after high school. While honoring the specific experiences of her Southern black girl upbringing, Taja’s deeply personal, coming-of-age tale eclipses ethnicity and geography to be incredibly relatable to girls of a certain age and women who remember being girls of a certain age.

Childhood memories can stretch out with the endless summers of neighborhood play and family adventures. Some experiences we can remember with excruciating detail, while other moments are forever lost. There are popular songs from our childhood we will forever remember the lyrics to, playground chants we could accurately recite 30 years after the fact. Family trips that come back to us in vivid detail. The shakily scary sensation of getting temporarily separated from our parents forever imprinted in somewhere in our hearts. The annoying burden of having to wake up early and go to church every Sunday. The sneaky pleasure of playing sick to have the house to yourself for a time to do whatever you desire. The unfairness of being treated differently from another sibling by your parents due to your differing age or gender. Harshly bickering with your family one moment, yet finding yourself protecting and defending them the next time some outsider dares to threaten and insult them.

Remarkably familiar and true-to-life scenes like these are peppered throughout this novel. Sometimes, they are presented in the disjointed and seemingly random fashion that we remember moments from our own childhood. Other times, Tamani expertly and eloquently weaves in common threads that knit together the whole narrative of Taja’s youth.

Remembering the Milestone of Childhood

The milestones, of course, can be unforgettable. Similar to what I wrote about in my review of Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret, reading Taja’s critical self-assessment of her changing body was palpably and painfully familiar. I also could relate to the embarrassment of Taja’s early experiences of menstruation. While I had heard and read enough to be sort of prepared for the impending ‘first blood,’ my mother was like Taja’s mother in never having talked about it with me beforehand. Reading the scenes where she’s humiliated for staining her pants immediately took me back to having to wrap a jacket around my waist in class when I’d unexpectedly got my period at school.

Yet, as much as my body could sometimes be a source of embarrassment, like Taja, there were times when I was surprised and pleased by its strength, by its speed, and by its being-ness. Oh, the delicious wonder of the discovery of self! I have never, ever read anything like the sensuously spiritual experiences I had as a child until reading this book’s beautiful passages of Taja sensing and feeling the wonder of her soul, of her connection to the greater Universe. To say this took me back is an understatement; by reading passages like the above, I felt like I was reliving my own awe and amazement over life as if for the first time.

I flood my lungs, watch my chest swell, and hold the air in, feeling my insides stir. like glitter in a globe. I exhale and the tiny dots settle. I take another long breath, and the sparkles swirl and swirl deep beneath my skin in a place I don’t know how to name, from where the songs in my head speak, from where tears race and eyes roll, from where gap-revealing smiles escape, laughter skips, cravings call…where words of love and fear whisper and scream, even if they never come out…the room inside the room inside the room.

Fumbling Toward First Love

The journey toward self-love loops and bends through delicious wonder, then mind-blowing confusion; through self-assurance, then doubtful despair. The path toward romantic life can be similarly tumultuous and heartbreaking, while also joyful and sublime. Taja’s first love in many ways reminded me of my own, with the surprising delight of learning about another’s mind, soul and body so intimately, for the first time.

Teenaged Taja and Andre plotting out their relationship timeline toward marriage and kids seems almost laughably naive now, but I did the same with my first love. And while my parents never forced me to sign a Vow of Purity, years of religious indoctrination left me similarly yearning to be virtuous, yet caught up by the unexpected passion of desire. While I felt some guilt for essentially ‘breaking a commandment’ by making love before marriage, both my boyfriend and I sincerely thought we had found “the One,” and he had given me a promise ring.

While I craved my boyfriend’s attention and adoration, sometimes it could be stifling, as Andre’s was to Taja. I wanted to feel free to see the world, to travel to Europe with my family and go to college across country. Though my first love wasn’t anywhere near as cruel and spiteful as Andre, he too felt threatened by my ambition and desire to spread my wings to fly.  Both Taja and I were made to feel guilty for wanting to go far from home–and our first loves–to college, coincidentally both at Stanford. While Andre’s immature insecurity led to their breakup as soon as Taja was accepted to the California university, my own relationship limped on for another year and half, through long-distance and then my temporary return home. But, like Taja, I realized my freedom to fully pursue my passion was a delicious gift to protect and embrace.

Hallelujah! Love is God’s One-Note Song

Calling My Name also deftly interweaves the journey toward acceptance, love and the full expression of one’s self with the journey past communal religious obligations through to the empowerment that comes with a personal connection to Spirit. As someone whose upbringing was also influenced by Southern black culture steeped in strict religious tradition and mindset, I really related to Taja’s spiritual coming-of-age, as well.  Early on, Taja senses that coming into connection with God is a highly personal experience that transcends confining church walls and preachers’ predictably castigating, yet hypocritical, sermons.

Unfortunately, familial pressure and social conformity allow fear of damnation and the stranglehold of a Vow of Purity to seep into her heart, casting a dark shadow over her blooming adolescence. Aspiring to be a ‘good girl,’ yet wanting to explore her kaleidoscope of desires, Taja struggles with the crippling guilt and hot shame over her ‘sins’ of wanting to express her first love in all ways. She also wants to be friends with non-Christians without trying to convert them and to be a contributing member of her community without getting weighed down by arbitrary obligations and harsh judgement.

If I had to give God’s one-note song a word, then I would pick hallelujah or love. Yes, Jesus would love love! But love wasn’t spoken today…[Pastor Hayes] repeats, “Do you want Jesus to forgive you for your sins?” No, forget that. Hallelujah already won. I’m done.

Claiming Ownership of the Freed Self

Claiming Ownership of the Freed SelfCan Taja come to trust that pure voice within that wholly embraces her true self and engenders hope for an inclusive humanity? The one that encourages her illustrious ambitions, encompasses her deepest desires and allows for real freedom of personal expression? That whispers to her that she too is a “gospel song” in her “highest, purest note, in perfect harmony with what calls to me”? Might the Divine indeed be found in the artful dance of nature, in the interpersonal expressions of love and acceptance, and in the deeply, soulful experiences of burgeoning self-love? You’ll have to read it to find out.

SaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave

Rereading Childhood Classics: Are You There God? It’s Me, Renee

Rereading Childhood Classics- Are You There God? It's Me, ReneeAs the first stop on my reunion tour of Judy Blume’s classic children/YA novels, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret was a really sweet–albeit somewhat outdated–dash down memory lane. It tells the tale of Margaret, a 12-year-old city girl who must adjust to the suburbs of New Jersey and make new friends, while on the uncertain cusp of puberty. Written in 1970, the book sparked controversy and censorship due to “the frank discussions of sexual and religious topics,” according to The Blume Saloon, but modern readers might find the formal invitation to a fellow classmate’s ‘supper party’ and the celebratory countdown to first periods rather quaint.

A child of the ’80s myself, the concept of feeling such pressure not to be the last of one’s friends to menstruate feels foreign. I do remember wondering when my first period would come, but I don’t remember announcing the occasion to any of my friends. My mom certainly didn’t talk to me about it or give me a heads up on what to expect, unlike Margaret’s mother.

Something that did feel very familiar was the insecurity Margaret feels about being slow to grow in the boob department (though I never stuffed my bra). Exercises, prayers and envy–oh my! My inner child cringed remembering the awkwardness of changing my clothes in front of other girls. And what girl growing up in the ‘80s could forget the chant: “We must–we must-we must increase our bust”? But seriously, what kind of friend is Nancy Wheeler, who shames Margaret by laughingly commenting, “Oh, you’re still flat”? But yes, I do recall my class humiliating the early developers and making up nasty stories about those girls, like Margaret and her friends did to poor Lauren. Yes, kids can be pretty awful.

Judy Blume Teen CollectionSo much feels for first crushes, first boy-girl parties, first kisses and secret clubs! When Margaret and the  PTSs (Pre-Teen Sensations) “got up the guts” to look at the nude male form in a parent’s medical book and to peruse a copy of Playboy, I couldn’t help but remember giggling with my friends over the nudity we’d scope out. (Man, I can’t wait to talk about Forever!) One wonders how today’s kids–who have all kinds of nudity available for viewing with just one click on any of their digital devices–would laugh at the innocence of children from the past.

Another big part of this book that I could relate to was the question elicited by the novel’s title. In a new community where everyone seems to have a clear religious affiliation, Margaret suddenly finds herself forced to tease out her spiritual beliefs and religious predilections. The daughter of a Christian mother and Jewish father, she realizes that feels most comfortable talking with God directly at the end of the day, one-on-one. Growing up in a rather benign Christian church, I remember my own earnest questions and pleas, pondering whether God was actually a presence that could hear me and answer my prayers. I read the Bible on my own and was actually encouraged to determine my own interpretation of what I read. Like Margaret, having such independent thinkers as parents, who didn’t jam their own beliefs down my throat, helped me form my own beliefs regarding religion and find my own path to spirituality, which has served me quite well in adulthood.

I really enjoyed rediscovering and embracing my inner child by reading Are You There God?… Gifted a MasterClass with the beloved, taboo-breaking children’s author by my childhood best friend and currently lacking a library card for the new town to which I just moved, now is the perfect time to run through the Teen Collection of Blume books that my parents gave me this past Christmas. I can’t wait to read Tiger Eyes next; the preview for it is heartbreakingly compelling.

 

Fridays’ Brief Book Reviews: Falling Head Over Heels For Fangirl

Fridays' Brief Book Reviews: Falling Head Over Heels For FangirlWhat more can you ask from a novel than lovable characters who live and breathe beyond the page?  A young writer finding her voice, telling a story (fanfic) within a story, an innocent college freshman stumbling and fumbling into first love with a totally crush-worthy guy, and a twin carving out her own, independent identity while still honoring the sisterly bond forged through the crucible of childhood. Honestly, what’s not to love about Rainbow Rowell’s un-put-downable Fangirl? I finished the last pages with tears in my eyes and a high-wattage grin on my face.

The novel also offers a sensitive and thoughtful portrayal of mental illness and the aftereffects of childhood abandonment. Perhaps what I related to most was protagonist Cath’s rollercoaster struggle to fully face and navigate through her considerable mental blocks to claim her narrative. If she fails to brave up for this inner battle, can she ever truly share her quirky, creative and compassionate self with others? Can we?

As a writer, I will definitely be returning to this book again and again for inspiration and Professor Piper’s pep talks. Once I finished the last page, I leaped out of the bed to park myself in front of the laptop to get back to work on my own novel. There’s much to study and absorb, appreciate and admire, and reminisce about and reflect on throughout Fangirl, which is really two stories in one. (Who else wanted to read more about Simon Snow in Cath’s serial, Carry On, after reading fictional excerpts of it throughout the novel? Well, it looks like we’re in luck!) Rowell is also author of the award-winning Eleanor & Park, which I can’t believe I haven’t read yet, but it’s definitely going on my ‘to-read’ list.

Fangirl Favorite Quotables:

‘”…I pick my life apart that way, try to understand it better by writing straight through it.’
“So everything in your books is true?”
The professor tilted her head and hummed. “Mmm…yes. And no. Everything starts with a little truth, then I spin my webs around it–sometimes I spin completely away from it. But the point is, I don’t start with nothing.”‘

‘This wasn’t good, but it was something. Cath could always change it later. That was the beauty in stacking up words–they got cheaper, the more you had of them. It would feel good to come back and cut this when she’d worked her way to something better.’

‘Sometimes writing is running downhill, your fingers jerking behind you on the keyboard the way your legs do when they can’t quite keep up with gravity.
Cath fell and fell, leaving a trail of messy words and bad similes behind her.’

SaveSaveSaveSave